January 22, 2023
If a majority of my conversations in the past did not pass the Bechdel test, they certainly do now. In fact, I find myself to be a better listener when I don’t have anything to say about men. Of course, I have been on a few dates with the same guy but I didn’t like him and had very little to share on the matter. When my friends have asked me about it, I actually find myself exasperated by having to explain it. We still talk about men, they exist in our lives and it would be impossible to steer totally clear of the conversations, but it is much less now.
Today, I sat in a cafe with my friend, C, and I listened to her stories about roommates in Germany and we laughed about dating apps and cake and everything in between the two. After lunch, we went to her apartment and she made pasta. I thought about the new boygenius song, “True Blue” and how there is truly no love akin to that which exists between women. I felt special to be in her presence.
Later, our friend, A, joined us and we sat on the couch with pasta in our laps, truffles between us, and watched a film that we talked through the entirety of. I laughed about this and acknowledged how much I loved sitting with people who also talked through movies. I realized that I have not had a chance to do “nothing” with my friends in a very long time. I missed it and allowed myself the chance to melt into the moment.
A drove me home and we discussed the complexities of how our pasts color our present. I shared that C had asked…
